Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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