We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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