Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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