so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
