Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize