There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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