I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
