piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize