My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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