I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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