Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
