marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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