I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
