oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
