Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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