its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
