So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
