I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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