Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
