you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm bleeding and have questions
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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