Already got asked if we're dating
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
