well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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