I am puke
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
