She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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