So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
