that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
