i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
