i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
