I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
