Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just had sex on a roof
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
