I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My breasts were aching with rage.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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