I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think I died a long time ago.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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