All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
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