I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Can you bring me the toilet please
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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