I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
