this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
