please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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