I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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