Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
