First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize