Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
