Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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