So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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