I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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