No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
