he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
