i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
