i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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