I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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