Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
