I will die if light touches me.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
