yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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