I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
