Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
