i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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