we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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