he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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