"it" just moved
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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