Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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