Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
