He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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