batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
we should paint friendship bongs
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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