the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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