We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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