You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
