we have pet lesbian snakes
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I had to cum in my sink.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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