Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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