that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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