I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
