Slut skills are useful in every country.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
