Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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