Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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