My first STD was from a foam party
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
