Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My dick has a subreddit
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
